When was the last time you had some fun?

When was the last time you had some fun? Real raucous fun? Something that made your soul sing, your eyes sparkle and your smile shine?

Day to day life can be mundane, boring and stressful. Especially when you’re juggling bills, dealing with workplace demands, caring for ageing parents or responding to your kids’ requests for roman costumes.

Yet, fun is a vital part of life, it leads to happiness and well-being. When you are happy at work you are confident in yourself and your abilities. When you are happy at home you are more likely to let small annoyances or niggles pass avoiding conflict.

Fun adds vitality and gives you strength. But its’ not just the event itself. It is the before and after. The anticipation and hope that quickens the senses. The shared memories that warm the heart. According to Bronnie Ware a palliative nurse, one of the top regrets of the dying is, ‘I wish that I had let myself be happier’. Bronnie says, ‘This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called ‘comfort’ of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again.’

I have coached on the topic of fun several times in the past few weeks, asking whether having fun was intentional, happenstance or not present. The question has made most clients stop and think. When was the last time I had some fun?

One client was feeling very overwhelmed by their ‘life’ to-do list. It felt never ending. Whenever they had a spare moment, they felt it had to be filled with something from the list. This client did have a bucket list and so any spare moment he booked something he had always wanted to do. However, surprisingly they had found that going through it was becoming less like fun and more like a ticking off exercise. The activities were enjoyable but on reflection, he wasn’t having fun.

When he stopped and thought about what fun was for him, he realised that fun was being spontaneous. Non-obligated time led to great things happening. He now plans non-obligated time into his weekends once a month where he does what he wants, when he wants. And it isn’t always raucous or new. Sometimes it is as simple as binge watching Netflix or dropping in on his mum. He is finding that fun! 

A second client noticed that she was silently begrudging taking her teenagers to their friends to have fun while she went home and did jobs. It left her feeling old, low and under-valued. When thinking about what fun was to her she knew it was laughter with friends. There was a group of university friends she used to meet quite regularly for drinks but they had got out of the habit as life had got busier. She decided to reach out and book in a quarterly get together. This gave her something to look forward to, a fun night where can laugh and laugh, and memories to look back on that would make her giggle and smile. 

Don’t look back and regret. Choose fun and make it happen.

Jenny Butter is an Accredited Master Coach and is the founder of Epiphany Career & Life Coaching. She has significant experience in both career coaching and life coaching and enjoys enabling clients to become energised, fulfilled, and thrive at both work and home. 

 

 

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