How true is true? I’m not talking about fake news here or the white lie that my bum doesn’t look big in a tight yellow stripy pair of hot pants. I am talking about how truthful we are with ourselves. More often than not we filter, cloud or skew facts—anything to convince ourselves that our lack of progress is Not Our Fault. The problem is, those untruths stop us achieving our goals. Here are three common self-defeating lies to look out for:
- Blaming external obstacles
Something is stopping us from succeeding. A friend wanted to train for a 5K run, but said she couldn’t start until after Easter because winter was on its way. ‘Winter’ was the an excuse that has stopped her achieving her goal. The truth is many people, both happily and successfully, train during the colder months.
- Blaming those around us
We can’t achieve our goals because of others. Take diet and weight loss. ”Your dinner guests won’t mind if you serve them tasty low fat meals. No one will judge you if you don’t join them in desert when you’re out with friends. You can’t blame others when you regularly choose the unhealthy option.
- Blaming those in authority
The plumber who does shoddy work and leaves a mess behind can’t blame the Inland Revenue for his meagre bank balance. Bad word of mouth is stopping him from getting a regular work, and the way he asks his customers for cash payments so he can “hide it from the tax man” risks making him seem even more untrustworthy to the few clients he does have.
If there are areas in your life in which you feel stuck or don’t seem to be having any success perhaps it is because you are not being fully truthful with yourself. Having an accredited coach to look objectively at your situation, help you reassess or reframe can make a tremendous difference.
Don’t look back and regret.