If you believe the movies and songs, all you need to feel complete and happy is romantic love. Back in the day, crooner Dean Martin sang You’re Nobody ’Til Somebody Loves You. Well, that’s rubbish, and I’m not the only one who thinks so.
Professor Barbara Fredrickson works in the psychology department at the University of North Carolina. She describes love, as being an emotion that, like all emotions, is momentary, not enduring and can be experienced in micro-moments. Love, through this lens, is not an emotion just for soul mates but rather is an emotion that can be shared several times a day with different people in different settings: laughter with a friend, greeting a colleague you haven’t seen for a while, or sharing a smile with a baby on a bus.
Professor Fredrickson’s research has proved that as you increase these micro-moments, it physically changes you for the better. The science shows that the functioning of your vagus nerve (which connects the brain to the heart) improves as you have more positive micro-moments, so the rhythm of your heart becomes healthier. She says,“These discoveries suggest that these connections are biological imperatives. They give life in the same way that the right combination of sunlight, soil and earth, gives life to plants. Now this is the evidence that pushed me to elevate these micro-moments of connection and put them on that revered pedestal that we call love. Love isn’t just that lightning bolt experience that connects you to your soulmate…it’s also simple genuine smile that you can share with anybody all day long.”
If your soul’s not happy, why not start looking out for potential micro-moments? How many do we miss out on because we are too busy with the pressures of life or too afraid of making ourselves vulnerable in the moment of connection?
Don’t look back and regret. Actively chose to experience micro-moments and by doing this chose love.